Thursday, March 22, 2012

Conch Dreams

When I was younger, I used to dream about sex. Seems like my dreams lately are all about food.

It could be that I'm trying to lose some weight, and that my brain is stubbornly refusing to let go of the fatty, fried foods that got me in this predicament. Last night, I had the recurring Conch Dream.

I was fortunate enough to get to the Bahamas for the first time earlier this month, and while the fishing was tough thanks to challenging weather and an interesting saltwater cast, the food was ... amazing.

Darlene, the cook at Long Island Bonefishing Lodge, had us all salivating at the end of the day, thanks largely to her conch fritters. If you've never had one of these nuggets of fried ecstasy, I beg you ... don't judge. Not until you let one of these delectable mouthfuls of joy cross your lips. Then, and only then, will you understand what it's like to wake up in the middle of the Conch Dream and realize that you're not really sitting on the deck overlooking the flats of Long Island while the warm, evening breeze massages your skin, and that you're not really eating a heaping plate of conch fritters, and that you're not really washing it down with an ice-cold Kalik beer.

This is what rude awakenings are all about.

The conch is the critter that lives inside those beautiful sea shells--you know, the ones that, if you hold them to your ear, you can hear the surf? They're plentiful in the Bahamas, and each night, Darlene would dice up the delicate shellfish, mix it in a seasoned batter with onions, garlic, peppers (and a little bit of love, right, Darlene?), and fry 'em up.

Nothing takes the sting out of getting skunked on the flats like a never-ending serving of conch fritters. Nothing.

I miss you, Darlene... And I miss your fritters, too.


  1. Now I'm hungry! Darlene sounds sexy!

  2. Dang - I have never had the pleasure. Something I need to remedy!

  3. Andy... once the fritters showed up, I never looked at Darlene! How sad is that?

    Mark... you MUST try them. Unbelievably delicious!

  4. Mmmmm. Conch fritters and Kalik. Hard to beat that combo.

    Chris - are you free late Monday afternoon for some casting at Tautphaus Park? Feel free to call me - 881-1108.

  5. Brent... I believe I am. I'll make that work. I could use the practice, as I'm headed to south Texas next month for reds... in the wind, I'm sure.

  6. OK, I'll be there by 4:00 Monday. See you then.

  7. I think I need to go down there and meet Darlene...with beer and good food, good trips are made.


  8. Never had that beer.I'll have to head down to the Bahamas.

  9. It's worth it for the beer and conch alone...